I was raised by caterpillars and now have metamorphosed into a Butterfly who must make a long migration to complete her life cycle
I must learn that it’s my life to take and not theirs to deny,that it is my destiny and not theirs that counts,as selfish as it may seem I must fulfill what is my life what has always been my life and what will be my life in the end.
I don’t think in all my years of life no matter how long and hard I studied an prepared myself,could I have ever imagined how my coming out to family would go.I have a very large family indeed and knew going in I would lose most it when I finally revealed who and what I am in life.Like a professional actor on a world stage I played out all that society expected me to be with great precision and know one could have ever guessed that who I was seethed under the surface hoping on an everyday basis to escape the prison I was locked into at birth.I somehow was able to deceive the world and never myself.Recently my son said to me after I told him who I really am, jeez dad I just can’t wrap my head around this you were always a mans, man and I just can’t believe what you have told me is true now.I guess like so many other trans people I over compensated and excelled in what I did to make myself very believable.
There was also a great fear that drove my life as I knew that when or if I was found out it would be the end of life as I had always lived it and that others might use this information to hurt me further than God had already.now that I have told all of my immediate family and found acceptance from some and shocked some who may never have a normal relationship with me again I wonder have I pushed too hard to make my self the focus of this disaster that has always been my life am I stealing something from the people who have known me for life and now are thrust into trying to see a new me and struggling with how they can interact with someone they had never known existed.Am I being selfish because I need to be known before my life is drained out and evaporates into the desert of time?Could I possibly have just gone on into death and let everyone be happy but me?Certainly it’s too late to back up and close the door and pretend no one saw or heard anything.I stepped off the cliff and I must now hope the landing will be in a place that can suit everyone’s liking.Now I feel trapped by some people more than ever before because they feel they have the right to bury their heads in the sand and pretend “I” don’t really exist,Leaving me still play acting to them because they lack the courage to see that I desperately need to be released from my life’s bondage,and leaving me with feelings of guilt once again because I made this ” journey” about me and didn’t think about how they would react to the person I have always known,but who was never in existence in their live’s till now.It seems I have only made things even more desperate to me and now I have left others with thoughts they didn’t want to face in their lives,what cruel way for God to have left me in in life,I seek to be me and still others seek to deny me and I just want some moments of peace before I have to leave this place.Can’t they just quit turning away and go ahead and look at my picture and see who I really am?Is that too much to ask?
Can I please exist and be the woman I have always been?
I have been poo pooed for my stance on the importance of progesterone,in your hormone therapy many times,I assure I don’t take any of this lightly,I have in the past and will in the future continue to research this,please don’t be lulled into believing that it’s not important to your health.I do take it for the many benefits it provides,some of which are important to you feminizing your body,and other reasons are significant to your over all health if progesterone is not part of the equation you should make it so,the effects of having too much estrogen and no balance of progesterone can be deadly. this is but one of the articles that back up my claims please for your own safety read all five parts of this article,this includes you natal women as well. I am adding a second article which can also be informative in the effects of progesterone and your Trans hormone therapy.
Tetragametic chimerism, as it affects homosexuality and transgender identity, is properly termed macro-chimerism since, in theory, it can be hexagametic or more, if more than two embryos merge.[6] But since male cells outgrow female cells in this condition, the majority of male/female chimeras should be phenotypically male.[6] Since the majority of any organ tends to be made from one embryo or the other, while a mixed-sex brain could occur in any proportion, generally the brain would be primarily male or female.
My Life and Experiences as both a Therapist Who Works With Transgendered Patients and as a Transgendered Patient actively Transitioning.
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This is a subject that, undoubtably, every older person has dwelled on over the years.
Growing up, I only had TV to sate my desire for knowledge about myself.
Forays to the library seldom gave up any useful information about gender issues, in fact, only slightly smutty articles seemed to be available so I meandered, I suppose, through the 60’s, 70’s, 80’s and 90’s finding denial easier to deal with, without even realising that my aggravation in life was enhanced by my denial of myself.
And then the Internet came along and a whole new world, a whole new vista to that world, opened up for me.
I have found my congruence and the ensuing peace that transition has given me and I strongly believe that is our answer.
I envy, with a small e, young ones today, with the knowledge that the Internet supplies and the slowly but persistantly growing awareness and acceptance from a cynical population, that is increasingly scared to accept anything that is deemed other than what we are told to conform to.
For this older generation, we lived the guilt trip, for most of us, 50 plus years, now it’s time to let it go and begin our lives in earnest, as woman, and complete.
I can get that.
Nancy J. Knauer, Temple University School of Law
Gender Matters: Making the Case for Trans Inclusion
Nancy J. Knauer, Peter J. Liacouras Professor of Law
Beasley School of Law, Temple University
ABSTRACT
The transgender communities are producing an important and nuanced critique of our gender system. For community members, the project is self-constitutive and, therefore, has an immediacy that also marks the efforts of other marginalized groups who have attempted to make sense of the world through description, interrogation, and, ultimately, a program for transformation. The transgender project also has universalizing elements because, existing within the gender system, each one of us embodies a particular gender articulation. It is through this articulation that we define ourselves in relation to the gender we were assigned at birth, the gender we choose, the gender we create, the gender we reject, the gender we are, and the gender we are assumed to be.
Lesbian and gay advocacy organizations began to incorporate transgender issues in the late 1990s, as signaled by the now ubiquitous “T” that appears at the end of the popular acronym “LGBT.” The resulting alliance, however, has been an uneasy one. The feminist response to transgender issues has been arguably even less welcoming. This Essay maintains that the progressive resistance to transgender narratives is rooted in a form of post-feminist agnosticism regarding gender that focuses on the temporal and historically contingent nature of gender. Under this view, gender is not real and, therefore, it is very difficult to make sense of transgender demands for gender self-definition. Contemporary transgender narratives challenge this base claim that gender doesn’t matter. They provide a first-hand account of gender as it is experienced at the beginning of the 21st century and establish that gender, as a social construct, matters in everyday lives. Thus, the first step to overcoming progressive resistance to transgender issues is to recognize that there continues to be great social meaning attached to gender, although we can certainly maintain that this should not be the case. Once we allow that gender matters, the transgender truth claims regarding the press and weight of gender no longer ring of false consciousness. To the contrary, the demand for the right to gender self-definition takes on a new urgency. It challenges our legal system of gender markers, the existing categories of man/woman, and the construction of the hetero/homo binary.
Part II demonstrates the difficulty of incorporating transgender narratives in a world view where gender is merely a social construct. It also explains how liberation ideology erased or demonized transgender identities in traditional feminist and LGB histories. Part III examines the commonality of all gender narratives and asks whether perhaps we aren’t all a little genderqueer? It also explores the integral role gender variance continues to play in gay and lesbian communities, despite the persistent efforts to establish sexuality as separate from gender or gender expression. Part IV reminds us that identity formation is historically contingent and discusses the opportunities presented by the use of “queer” as a strategic position of alliance. Most importantly, it asks us to imagine what types of legal reform would be necessary to create space for the type of gender self-definition envisioned and demanded by the transgender narrative – one that respects internal gender identity, gender expression, and gender embodiment. The final section outlines some specific actions steps to further trans inclusion in our law schools.
Nancy J. Knauer. 2007. “Gender Matters: Making the Case for Trans Inclusion” ExpressO
Available at: http://works.bepress.com/nancy_knauer/1
Couldn’t live without this.
When President Obama announced he now supports same-sex marriage, he cited his Christian faith.
“The thing at root that we think about is, not only Christ sacrificing himself on our behalf, but it’s also the Golden Rule, you know — treat others the way you would want to be treated,” he said in his interview with ABC News.
Many other people cited their religion to disagree, raising the question: How can people read the same Bible and come to opposite conclusions about same-sex relationships?
Homosexuality: In Biblical Terms
It’s true, says Carmen Fowler LaBerge: You can be a Christian and support same-sex marriage, but, she says, “nobody can say gay marriage is biblical. That’s just foolishness.”
LaBerge resigned her post as minister in the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) after the denomination voted last year to ordain noncelibate gay clergy. She says the Bible is clear.
“From the Old Testament and throughout the New Testament, the only sexual relationships that are affirmed in scripture are those in the context of marriage between one man and one woman,” she says.
Actually, the Old Testament does condone polygamy. Still, LaBerge says, from Leviticus to Paul’s writings in Romans and First Corinthians, homosexual acts are called vile and detestable, and legalizing same-sex relationships does not change the sin.
Not so fast, says the Rev. Susan Russell, an Episcopal priest at All Saints Church in Pasadena, Calif. She takes her cues from Jesus.
“Jesus never said a single word about anything even remotely connected to homosexuality,” she says.
Jesus does say the most important commandments are “Love God” and “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Given that, Russell believes if Jesus were here today, he would celebrate committed, same-sex relationships.
The Bible Vs. Culture
Russell says you take the Bible literally at your folly.
“When you read the Bible, you can find justification for almost anything,” she says, “including slavery, the subjection of women and an argument that the sun actually revolves around the earth.”
Russell and other liberal Christians argue the Bible is the living word of God, and much like the U.S. Constitution, needs to be interpreted as society changes.
But LaBerge says the issue is which has more sway: the Bible or culture?
“There’s a stream of faith that would recognize that the Bible continues to have authority, and that we are obligated to submit ourselves, our wills and our desires to it,” she says. “And there’s a stream of faith that would say that human experience actually trumps — or is an authority over — the Bible at this point.”
Reaction In Black Churches
Homosexual behavior is a fault line splitting Christian denominations in two — Episcopalians, Methodists, Presbyterians, Catholics — there’s even a wide gulf between young and old Evangelicals. But nowhere is this question more fraught than in African-American churches, says Tony Evans. He pastors the 9,000-member Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship in Dallas. One reason, he says, is cultural.
“The breakdown of the family is the single greatest challenge that we face today,” he says.
Evans and others say the black family is in crisis — a majority of babies, for example, are born to single mothers — and that’s why black ministers are often the most vocal opponents of same-sex marriage. Asked about the argument that this is a civil rights issue, Evans bristles.
“The issue of race is not an issue of choice. It’s an issue of birth,” he says.
Does that mean that homosexuality is a choice?
“The Bible is clear on that one, too. And that is, sexual relationships are to be between men and women within the context of marriage,” Evans says. “That’s not only related to the issue of homosexuality, but adultery, or fornication or bestiality. All of that is proscribed in the Bible.”
Envisioning God’s Kingdom
Graylan Hagler, the pastor of Plymouth Congregational United Church of Christ in Washington, D.C., says “of course it’s a civil rights issue.”
Hagler notes that there are plenty of blacks who are gay, and they, too, should have access to the God-given institution of marriage. To him, legitimizing marriage for committed gay couples is precisely what the Bible envisioned.
“I just think of the words from Galatians where it says, ‘There is neither Greek nor Jew, male nor female, slave nor free,’ ” he says. “And what is happening there is that they’re pointing to what the kingdom of God looks like … it’s open to everybody and everybody has equal status.”
Of course, conservatives say that the best blueprint for God’s kingdom on earth does not spring from what you read between the lines of the Bible, but what you read in black and white.
Biopsychology Pieces the Puzzle Together
Biopsychology can play a major role in the acceptance of the idea that gender identityhas a biological basis. One reason is because it is factual. These gender variation can be proven with evidence, pictures, and statistics. The theories of the bio-psychological perspective are not like the psychoanalytical perspective of Sigmund Freud, which are based in the idea of the mind or subconscious which cannot be observed. The brain can be observed. Genetics can be observed and broken down. The ability to observe and study is what the scientific method is all about. That is what make it more reliable. A more reliable source and study equates to a more persuasive argument of the facts that gender identity has a biological basis.
The nature versus nurture debate is always at the heart of the gender identity debate. From the time that the transsexual’s dad thinks that he did something wrong as a parent to the time when a mother says “I knew you were difference when you were 2 years old”, the implication of the environmental causes and genetic causes start to clash. Like with other abnormal human conditions, biopsychology has the potential to put to rest the never ending nature versus nurture debate and religious scorn as it pertains to gender identity. With evidence of natural occurring physiological differences, it places gender identity in the same realm as being born with red hair or down syndrome. It is only a matter of time before the evidence is explored and the idea of gender being a black or white, male or female issue will be put to rest.
Sections of the Brain
In 2004 a study was conducted in Amsterdam by the Netherlands Institute for Neuroscience. With the use of three different staining throughout the nuclei of the hypothalamus, they were able to determine that male-to-female transsexuals, in fact, had the same size and number of neurons as normal females and this similarity occur prior to the actually administration of hormones like estrogen to the male-to-female body. This same evidence was found to be true as it pertained to female-to-male transsexual and their similarities to males. The researchers came to the conclusion that these findings prove that gender identity is apart of a complex network involved in various aspect of the transsexuals hypothalamic nuclei that is shaped like the genetic gender they were born but it is the size and number of the gender that they feel like.
Another study, the largest study of transsexualism to date, was conducted on 122 male-to-female transsexuals that found that there are three genes known to be associated with sex development: androgen receptor, the estrogen receptor, and an enzyme which converts testosterone to estrogen. In the subject they found that the androgen receptor was longer in them than other genetic males which causes a weak testosterone signal. This weak signal can have integral effect on gender development in the womb. Lauren Hare from Henry’s Institute of Medical Research, who headed the study says this
“We think that these genetic differences might reduce testosterone action and under masculinize the brain during fetal development “
The co-author Professor Vincent Harley added:
“There is a social stigma that transsexualism is simple a lifestyle choice, however our findings support that a biological basis of how gender identity develops.” (Hare. 2008)
Another research study shows that the corpus callosum, which is the portion of the brain that connect and facilitates communications between the left and right hemisphere of the brain, shape is reverse in transsexuals, opposite shaped of a norman person born with the same genitalia. This study was done through the use of MRIs on normal males, normal female and transsexuals of both kind. So this evidence shows the existence of a mental sex between your ears as oppose to just a physical sex between your legs. So determining sex is not as easy now as opening the baby’s legs and seeing a penis or vagina.
These studies and countless other studies show that it is extremely likely that there is a genetic basis to gender identity. It is my belief from personal experience and personal evaluation of the transgender community that there is a biological basis that predisposes transsexual to become what they are. Yes, making the choice to transition to the new gender depend on what you environment allows. A transsexual cannot transition in Uganda without the risk of death. The extreme social negativity toward the transition prevent that choice of living the social life of the new gender to be made. Whereas if a transsexual is in America, they can transition freely because of the wealth of rights we have and American citizens. Although the lifestyle is still marginalized in America, so transition is not without some form of resistance. Due to conservative religious beliefs and other social obstacles, even with evidence, transsexualism will have an uphill battle to become respected as more then a lifestyle choice. I find this ironic because it was so quickly and easily accepted that alcoholism had a genetic basis. So society can except that someone choosing to pick up a whiskey bottle and gluttonously drink irresponsibly has biological reasoning but a person feeling like the opposite sex with studies that can explain this feeling on a biological level is unacceptable and shunned. This does not seem very logical or fair. The difference though is drinking is social acceptable and in some instance seen as “cool”. Whereas transsexualism is seen as a weird sexual deviant lifestyles only explore by perverts , exploited in the sex industry and smut TV for shock value and ratings i.e. Jerry Springer Show and Maury Polvich. I think the issue of gender identity and sexual orientation will end in a way similar to the issue of the shape of the planet. When everyone thought the world was flat, science and research came along and prove that it was round. There was period of that transition where people who were consider educated at the time like Thales, Hecataeus of Miletus, and the prevalent people of that era spoke against the idea that the world was round but over time and continuous studies and proof, the round world became public knowledge and a world wide excepted fact and not just in theory (except for Sherri Shepard on The View who didn’t get the memo or something…lol)
The truth of the matter is that the layman or average joe is not keeping up with the advances in neuroscience especially as it pertain to gender identity. Gender identity is not their issue until we are trying to use their restrooms, be a girl scout, or receive the spousal support for a spouse’s death. The key is to bring this knowledge to school books and colleges so that the next generation is not suck in the notion that if an individual is born with a penis he is just simply a male/man or if a individual is born with a vagina, she is just simply female/woman without any consideration of variation to the obvious physical. There is a inside of all humans and many things we are yet to understand. With time and constant exposure of the truth, I have faith that society will come around.
Various link to more information and the studies
Swaab DF. Sexual differentiation of the human brain: relevance for gender
identity, transsexualism and sexual orientation. Gynecol Endocrinol
2004; 19: 301–12.
Yokota, Y.
Life of a Transgendered Gal living in the real world. no glamour, no photoshop. just the real life ups and downs of a trans woman living in a diverse world full of ignorance!
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