Update to Uphill and against the wind

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Today I called my insurance provider about the approval for my HRT prescriptions as it turns out it was as easy as having my Dr. call and authorize the prescriptions.

My cost for these things was almost nothing compared to what I had been paying for example my estrogen cost me $1.15 for a months supply,Much cheaper than I had been paying through Inhouse pharmacy. The one hitch in all this is that I am unable to fill the prescription for my anti-androgen,I can’t use Spirolactone because of a drug interaction with my blood pressure medication so I have been taking cyproterone now for about three years.It is a very much stronger medication generally used to treat inoperable prostate cancer but a very good testosterone blocker also used as an agent to chemically castrate sex offenders,I can assure you it does indeed take your sex drive away,especially when combined with the progesterone and Estradiol. The reason my prescription for this can’t be filled is the drugs containing cyproterone acetate more commonly called Androcur,or Cyprostat,the one I take is the Generic brand Siterone much cheaper,none are approved by the FDA,although they are widely used in Europe and Australia ,and New Zealand. There are no U.S. alternatives to this medication so I guess I will have to continue to buy it offshore until it is approved by the FDA.

Well I think that covers my update for now,Hope this is helpful to some of you out there.

Hugzz

Butterfly

Up hill and into the wind

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Today I saw my physician  we had good visit and finally she agreed that we should transfer my HRT drugs to my local pharmacy via her prescription’s so my medicare would begin covering some of the costs of these rather expensive drugs which will be a great help to me financially as I live on a fixed income.

Of course when I went to fill my prescriptions My medigap insurance refused to cover the drugs because they were flagged due to my gender marker,so now as usual I have to go through a process with my provider to get them to change things so they will cover these. It’s never a smooth transition on anything it seems if you are transgender you always have to jump through some extra set of hoops that “normal folks” don’t,a recognition issue that needs to be addressed.

So when I filled my prescriptions the cost was double what I already pay buying my drugs online and we wonder why the health care system is broken in America and about to become even more screwed up by the implementing of Obama care at the end of the year. a two thousand page bill passed by congress before anyone even knew what was in it,behind closed doors,and now some 15,000 pages of new regulations have been added to it.What a cluster FUCK.Not to mention several new layers of the IRS to police and implement this worthless legislation that will further bankrupt our over extended government.

Anyway back to the issue at hand,as I began to research what I need to do to move my process forward I found this information which I will share with you all and hope it helps you if face this in the future.

Other Resources
For general Medicare information
1-800-MEDICARE (633-4227)
Medicare Claims Processing Manual, Chapter 32 – Addressing Gender Discrepancies
http://www.cms.gov/manuals/downloads/clm104c32.pdf (see section 240)
Medicare Interactive – A Resource from the Medicare Rights Center
http://www.medicareinteractive.org
Medicare & You 2011 Handbook
http://www.medicare.gov/publications/pubs/pdf/10050.pdf
Information About Filing Appeals and Complaints
How to File a Medicare Part A or Part B Appeal in Original Medicare
http://www.medicare.gov/publications/pubs/pdf/11316.pdf
Medicare Advantage Plans and Medicare Cost Plans: How to File a Complaint (Grievance
or Appeal)
http://www.medicare.gov/publications/pubs/pdf/11312.pdf
Medicare Prescription Drug Coverage: How to Request a Coverage Determination, File an
Appeal, or File a Complaint
http://www.cms.gov/partnerships/downloads/11112.pdf
Froms and other information for prescription drug appeals
https://www.cms.gov/MedPrescriptDrugApplGriev/
Contact Information for Regional CMS (Medicare) Offices

MEDICARE BENEFITS AND
TRANSGENDER PEOPLE
August 2011
National Center for Transgender Equality ▪ 1325 Massachusetts Avenue NW, Suite 700, Washington, DC 20005
(202) 903-0112 ▪ ncte@transequality.orghttp://www.TransEquality.org
Medicare is one of America’s most important health programs, providing health insurance for millions of
older adults and people with disabilities. As with private insurance, transgender people sometimes encounter
limitations in their Medicare coverage or confusion about what is covered – both for transition-related care
and for routine preventive care. This document provides an overview of benefit questions that may arise for
transgender people, and information on what to do in response to an initial denial of coverage.
WHAT DOES MEDICARE COVER FOR TRANSGENDER PEOPLE?
Medicare covers routine preventive care regardless of gender markers.
Medicare covers routine preventive care for all eligible persons, including mammograms, pelvic and prostate exams.
Medicare and many private plans may automatically refuse coverage of services that appear inconsistent with a
gender marker in Social Security records as a means of preventing erroneous or fraudulent billing, with the unintended
consequence of denying claims for procedures that many transgender people need. Medicare beneficiaries have a
right to access services that are appropriate to their individual medical needs. Later in this document we discuss what
to do when coverage is wrongly denied due to an apparent gender discrepancy.
Medicare covers medically necessary hormone therapy.
Medicare also covers medically necessary hormone therapy. These medications are part of Medicare Part D prescription
drug plan formularies (lists of covered medications) and should be covered when prescribed. Sometimes coverage
may be initially wrongly refused due to an apparent inconsistency of the hormones with a gender marker in a person’s
records. Nevertheless, Medicare beneficiaries have a right to access prescription drugs that are appropriate to to their
medical needs.
Medicare does not cover sex reassignment surgery.
Medicare currently does not cover sex reassignment surgery for transgender people. This exclusion is due to a
decades-old policy that categorizes such treatment as “experimental.” NCTE is working to have this outdated policy
re-evaluated on the basis of current science, but this process may take several years. This exclusion applies only to
surgical procedures and should not apply to pre-surgical labs, post-surgical follow-up care, or any other medically
appropriate treatment for a transgender beneficiary that is generally a covered service.
WHAT DO I DO WHEN COVERAGE IS DENIED?
Original Medicare
To address inappropriate denials of coverage, the Center for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) has approved a
special billing code (condition code 45) to assist processing of claims under original Medicare (Parts A and B). This
billing code should be used by your physician or hospital when submitting billing claims for services where gender
discrepancies may be a problem. When used with standard billing codes doctors use for specific procedures, this code
alerts Medicare’s computer system to ignore an apparent gender discrepancy and allow your claim to be processed.
Details are explained in the Chapter 32 of the Medicare Claims Processing Manual (see the Resources section below)

WHAT DO I DO WHEN COVERAGE IS DENIED? (CONTINuED)
Private Medicare (Medicare Advantage, Medicare Cost Plus or Medicare Part D, etc.)
These plans should also cover routine preventive care and hormone therapy for transgender people, however, the
Medicare override “condition code 45” cannot be used for private Medicare Advantage plans. If you have a Medicare
Advantage, Medicare Cost Plus or Medicare Part D plan and you are informed that your plan will not cover a service
that is medically appropriate for you (for example, when a pharmacist tells you your plan will not cover your prescription
drugs including hormones), the first thing you need to do is request a written “coverage determination” from the plan.
This request must be submitted with a doctor’s statement explaining the medical necessity of the item or service to
be covered. Submit any documentation you can provide from your doctor supporting the medical necessity of the item
or service. For prescription drugs, it’s best to use Medicare’s “Model Coverage Determination Request” form (see the
Resources section below).
Appealing a negative coverage determination:
If you have original Medicare and a claim has been denied (for example, when Medicare refuses to cover your
doctor visits), you have the option of appealing that determination within 120 days, persuant to the standard appeal
procedures for all Medicare claims. The first level of appeal is called a “redetermination.” You, or your doctor, or any
other person whom you appoint (such as a family member or friend) can call or write to the company that handles
your Medicare claims, as indicated on your most recent Medicare Summary Notice, and ask them to cover your claim.
If another person is going to assist you in this process, you should contact the company to learn how to appoint this
person to be your representative.
Once the company receives your appeal, they usually take one week to inform you of their decision (though faster
appeals are possible in some circumstances). If their answer, called a “redetermination,” is unfavorable, there are
several additional levels of possible review by Medicare and ultimately by a court. Review Medicare’s document “How
to File a Medicare Part A or Part B Appeal in Original Medicare” for more details (see the Resources section below).
If a private Medicare plan denies coverage, the appeals process is similar to original Medicare, but you must start by
submitting an appeal to the plan. You, your doctor or your representative will typically need to file an appeal within 60
days with your plan, usually in writing (though some plans will allow appeals to be made by phone). Specific appeal
procedures vary by plan, and are specified in each plan’s materials. For more information, see the Medicare documents
“Medicare Advantage Plans and Medicare Cost Plans: How to file a Complaint (Grievance or Appeal)” and “Medicare
Prescription Drugs Coverage: How to Request a Coverage Determination, File an Appeal, or File a Complaint” (see the
Resources section below).
WHAT IF I HAVE A CuSTOMER SERVICE PRObLEM?
If you encounter disrespect, discrimination, harassment or other inappropriate treatment related to your gender identity
or transgender status, you may make a complaint with the appropriate entity. For problems when making inquiries
or appeals in a private Medicare plan, you may file a complaint or grievance with your plan. For any other customer
service problems, we recommend contacting your regional Center for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) office.
We encourage you to also share your experience with NCTE to aid in our advocacy efforts.

For any of you who feel you are over paying for your medications I offer this,

https://www.inhousepharmacy.biz/

I do not encourage anyone to use these drugs without being monitored by a physician serious side effects are possible with these and all drugs so see a doctor please.

It was how I had to begin my HRT because there were no resources available to me when I first began but I have since researched in my area and with the help of local LGBTQ groups we will make a pamphlet so these local resources will be available to those who need it,in my area.

I will offer more as my process evolves.

P.S. The terms SRS (sexual reassignment surgery) and GRS (gender reassignment surgery) should not be used anymore  you are the sex and gender you identify as,all you can do is have  Genital Reassignment Surgery

Butterfly

The best reasons to shrink our government

The War on Poverty: $15 Trillion and Nothing to Show for It

Written by  

The War on Poverty: $15 Trillion and Nothing to Show for It

Fifteen trillion dollars: That’s how much American taxpayers have forked over in the name of helping the poor since 1964. And what do we have to show for it? A poverty rate that has barely budged, an entrenched bureaucracy, and a population — like that of Greece and Portugal, two welfare-state basket cases — increasingly dependent on government handouts.

These are the conclusions of a recent Cato Institute reporton the American welfare state by Michael Tanner, Cato’s director of health and welfare studies and author of The Poverty of Welfare: Helping Others in Civil Society. It is hardly an encouraging read, to say the least.

When President Johnson declared war on poverty nearly half a century ago, writes Tanner, “the poverty rate in America was around 19 percent and falling rapidly.” Increasing prosperity brought about by the free market, coupled with strong civil institutions such as churches, charities, and fraternal organizations, was already accomplishing the unthinkable: making poverty, the general condition of mankind throughout most of history, a rarity in the United States. A rising tide, as Johnson’s predecessor observed, does indeed lift all boats.

The man at the helm of the ’64 ship of state, however, decided the tide wasn’t rising quickly enough and so he would help it along by filling buckets with water from the port side of the ship and emptying them on the starboard side. Not surprisingly, this strategy failed to increase the water level. Thus, despite $12 trillion in federal welfare spending and $3 trillion in state and local government welfare spending over the past 48 years, says Tanner, “the poverty rate never fell below 10.5 percent and is now at the highest level in nearly a decade” — 15.1 percent and climbing. “Clearly,” he adds, “we have been doing something wrong.”

Of course, that all depends on how one defines success in the war on poverty. For those on the receiving end of government handouts — not just the poor but also those paid to provide services to them, such as doctors and landlords — success is getting more taxpayer dollars every year; and by that standard, the war has been a remarkable achievement. “Government spends $20,610 for every poor person in America, or $61,830 per poor family of three,” Tanner reports. “Given that the poverty line for that family is just $18,530, we should have theoretically wiped out poverty in America many times over.”

The war on poverty has also been a rousing success for the bureaucracy. At the federal level alone there are now 126 separate anti-poverty programs administered by seven different cabinet agencies and six independent agencies. Then there are the hordes of social workers and government employees who administer the various programs. All of these people have a vested interest in the programs’ continuation and expansion. As a result, “anti-poverty programs are usually more concerned with protecting the prerogatives of the bureaucracy than with actually fighting poverty,” Tanner avers.

Needless to say, taxpayers have been the big losers in the war. Federal welfare spending has risen 375 percent (in constant 2011 dollars) since 1965. Total welfare spending has climbed almost as much: Governments are now disbursing $908 billion a year to alleviate poverty, up from $256 billion (also in constant dollars) in 1965. Moreover, notes Tanner:

Over the last decade the increase has been even more rapid. Federal welfare spending increased significantly under the Bush administration, but President Obama has thrown money at anti-poverty programs at an unprecedented rate. Since taking office, the Obama administration has increased spending on welfare programs by more than $193 billion.

While some of the spending hikes under Obama can be attributed to the recession, Tanner writes, “part of the program’s growth is due to conscious policy choices by this administration to ease eligibility rules and expand caseloads.” This, he points out, “undid many of the incentives contained in the 1996 Clinton welfare reform, which helped states to reduce welfare rolls.” As a result, the administration projects that “combined federal and state welfare spending will not drop significantly once the economy fully recovers,” with the annual tab reaching $1 trillion in 2014 and the 10-year total hitting $10.3 trillion — an amount that, Tanner calculates, comes to “$250,000 for every American currently living in poverty, or $1 million for every poor family of four.”

If all that money could really eradicate poverty, perhaps it would be worth it (constitutional and moral issues aside). Unfortunately, as we have seen, the massive amount of money already spent on that objective has failed to make a dent in the poverty rate. “In fact,” observes Tanner, “the only appreciable decline [in the poverty rate] occurred in the 1990s, a time of state experimentation with tightening welfare eligibility, culminating in the passage of national welfare reform.” The poor, despite the unprecedented redistribution of wealth in their favor, have been losers, too.

“The vast majority of current programs are focused on making poverty more comfortable — giving poor people more food, better shelter, health care, and so forth — rather than giving people the tools that will help them escape poverty,” Tanner remarks. “The best way to create wealth,” he explains, “is not through government action, but through the power of the free market.”

That means that if we wish to fight poverty, we should end those government policies — high taxes and regulatory excess — that inhibit growth and job creation. We should protect capital investment and give people the opportunity to start new businesses. We should reform our failed government school system to encourage competition and choice. We should encourage the poor to save and invest.

We should also set about shrinking all government transfer payments, not just those directed specifically at the poor. One of the ways politicians have bought off middle-class voters who oppose welfare for the poor is to offer those voters their own form of welfare such as Social Security and Medicare. Because of this, “government payouts, including middle-class entitlements, now account for more than a third of all wages and salaries in the United States,” according to Tanner. “Worse, if one includes salaries from government employment, more than half of Americans receive a substantial portion of their income from the government.”

“Any way that you look at it, we are rapidly becoming a society where more and more people rely on the government for their support.”

This is why our government is already nearly $16 trillion in debt with many more trillions of dollars in unfunded liabilities as far as the eye can see. It is also why European welfare states are in their current precarious positions.

The grip of government dependence must be broken not just for the poor but for everyone. It is the only way to save both our dignity and our country’s financial future.

War on poverty FAILED.

War On drugs


Money Spent on the War On Drugs this Year

Federal
State
Total

The U.S. federal government spent over $15 billion dollars in 2010 on the War on Drugs, at a rate of about $500 per second.

Source: Office of National Drug Control Policy

State and local governments spent at least another 25 billion dollars.

Source: Jeffrey A. Miron & Kathrine Waldock: “The Budgetary Impact of Drug Prohibition,” 2010.


People Arrested for Drug Law Offenses this Year

Arrests for drug law violations this year are expected to exceed the 1,663,582 arrests of 2009. Law enforcement made more arrests for drug abuse violations (an estimated 1.6 million arrests, or 13.0 percent of the total number of arrests) than for any other offense in 2009.

Someone is arrested for violating a drug law every 19 seconds.

Source: Uniform Crime Reports, Federal Bureau of Investigation


People Arrested for Cannabis Law Offenses this Year

Police arrested an estimated 858,408 persons for cannabis violations in 2009. Of those charged with cannabis violations, approximately 89 percent were charged with possession only. An American is arrested for violating cannabis laws every 30 seconds. 

Source: Uniform Crime Reports, Federal Bureau of Investigation


People Incarcerated for Drug Law Offenses this Year

Since December 31, 1995, the U.S. prison population has grown an average of 43,266 inmates per year. About 25 per cent are sentenced for drug law violations.

Source: U.S. Dept. of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics

War on drugs FAILED

Monies spent  On Illegal immigration    TOTAL $28,645,400,000

This includes welfare,medicaid,Justice costs and education.

This problem continues to grow,  On immigration FAILED

War on terror

$1,442,126,107,281   and climbing about $ 100,000 per minute.

FAILED

Education dept.

$3.8 Trillion – nationalpriorities.org‎

And this program is a FAILURE

Seeing a pattern here? the government continues to expand at an exponential  rate but can’t solve on damn problem, we have truly become a socialist country and didn’t vote for any of it it was crammed down our throats by  bigger and bigger  government.

Despite over 40yrs of failure on these problems some still think printing and borrowing more and more money will fix this,IS ANYBODY OUT THERE AWAKE.

And what do we get for our money LIES and DECEPTION at every turn more and more spin and more and more of us slipping into the poverty ranks because of gross mismanagement by our own LEADERS.

I recently watched about 20 people on the streets of NEW YORK be asked who the vice president was only one of them got it right,these are the dumb slobs that vote these assholes into office,there should be some kind of literacy test given to potential voters,or this will never change

Butterfly

Remodeling

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Today I decided,to remodel here a bit,do some spring cleaning as it were,I was reminded in a not so kind way by a dear friend that she had designed and helped me get my blog here going,I do give her the credit due it was an act of great kindness I will never forget.

But it is time for sure to make it completely mine in design so for a day or two you may notice a few changes I hope you will see that they reflect me and my likes and you will find them pleasing.

Times change,people change, and slowly the world changes to a more accepting place for baby boomer transgender’s like myself and the many I have been so very lucky to share life with.

The slow steps society takes toward us are like the flowers of  an emerging spring,they give us hope and strength to keep moving down our path’s toward what ever sanity we can achieve in our ever evolving lives.

None of our path’s are the same but in the end they all lead to the same destination,inner peace at least we pray for that destination.Sadly some never do the path becomes too hard until they can’t take one more step.

It is not always easy but giving up will not get you there,persevere and you will be rewarded.

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See you soon Butterfly

Cosmic Control or Just Coincidence

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Today I made my second appearance at the court-house of my county,In the matter of changing my name and gender marker on all my legal documents. While this may be a non issue for some transgender’s it is an important one for me.

It will validate in all forms of legality that I am truly the person I claim to be,It also confirms in the minds of all who know me that my life is not a passing fantasy, that who I am is not going away ever.

It also ensures that when I pass I will not be interred as someone I never desired to be,and that my memory to the ever lasting will be as right as it can be.

As I walked this morning to the court-house,I had no real thought of the day that would be the legal birth date of Shelle Marie I was just focused on being on time and wondering how I would be looked upon by the Judge.

It was open motion hour and I had to wait behind several attorney’s before I could have my time before the Judge by the time they were finished and I got to make my plea for a final court date on my matter I had  established that the Judge was in a good mood and that he seemed a compassionate sort of man. I’m always nervous when I deal with the legal system as they really seem to be against the common person than for them.

I stood before him and in a soft voice said I am told I have to see you to get a final court date for my matter,he smiled at me and looked over my papers and set a date with the clerk for July 25 at 9:30 am before the magistrate ,I said the date was in fact fine  and said thank you so much  he smiled at me and said you are very welcome please take your papers to the circuit court clerk and file this with them I did and everything is now stamped and duly notarized,she made copies one for me and one to give the local newspaper for the notice of my request to be posted in the paper as required by law 30 days prior to my court date. This will pretty much out me on the grandest of all scales to everyone who has or will know me in the future,on this I could not care any more I should not have to fear being me from anyone anymore.

I walked home with a new sense of accomplishment,but it wasn’t until a couple of hours after getting home it sunk in on me that the day I would be re-born as Shelle fell on the birth day of my now deceased wife,was this some cosmic  crazy thing that just happened or just a coincidence,which ever it seems a little spooky,and yet somehow right.

 

Butterfly

 

 

I am Hijra

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Neither am I  woman or man but of the third gender a gender between man and woman,but just as valid as anyone else in the world,my body says to me I am man but my soul says to me I am woman. From the beginning of my life my soul did not match my body and my soul cried it wept hard for long years pulling on my heart asking daily why don’t you set me free from this prison I am a soul a free entity not here to be captured by the ways of others. I called back almost continuously to my soul but had no answer to it’s quest for most of my life.But time and love of life have brought forth the answers my soul was seeking and now it rests smiling back at me happy to be free from it’s bonds basking in the sun of life  peacefully allowing some merger of the divine to find a home in my heart.

 

Butterfly

The Bramble

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I guess none of us ever knows for sure from birth just how our lives will turn out,for most “normal” people I think as they grow up and look in the mirror they see who they really are and know what they desire in life and it all works out in some wonderful master plan.

This was not the case in my life I looked there and saw someone I wasn’t,after nearly 60 years now and some radical changes  I have made I now can look there and see who I really am, oh it’s not as perfect as I had always imagined it would be but it’s one helluva difference,and a view I feel I can live with at last.

Still though when I see old pictures of myself I don’t see me I see someone who spent almost all my life trying very hard to be someone everyone else wanted me to be. I wish it had been much different,that I had grown up in today’s time when there is so much more understanding and tolerance of gender differences,today you can be open about being gender dysphoric and get help and transition early on in life avoiding all the pitfalls trans-persons went through in my day.

In days past we had to blend in to society no matter how painful it was ,we  looked like the normal everyday boys or girls in school and became quarter backs and track stars and basketball players or where ever things led us but none of those roads led us to the place we wanted to truly be in. For me and most transgenders in my generation those roads led us into closets hiding,escaping when we could to get moments of relief from the agony we lived not being able to be seen publicly as who we were.

For so many the only way to get relief was to give up family and friends and our entire lives and move away from our places of birth and begin new lives somewhere else,never looking back or being able to reattach our selves to our families,hardly what we really wanted but driven so hard by our inner desire to be free from the life long bondage we were living. Not all of us were able to so easily walk away because of obligation to families we had made along the way and the enormous guilt we would have felt in doing so and we stayed fighting on but all the while dying a little each day inside where no one else could see. This turned out to be my path some of it out of obligation and some of it out of pure cowardess,I guess in a way I did a little of both I had moved far from my family for work and not for the cause of my gender issues but it did allow me to be myself for periods of time without worry of them finding out.

By circumstance while I was away I met a woman who married me in spite of who I was and loved just as I was,but alas I lost her to suicide late in my life and shortly there after came down with cancer,and ended up once again in my home town  now once again hiding from my family to be me.

However the battle with cancer had awakened a new way of thinking about life it appeared I would go on living after my operation and I became determined to live out the rest of my days as myself once and for all,I returned to therapy once again and was diagnosed as gender dysphoric (like I didn’t already know after all my life) But you have to play their game it’s the only one in town so to speak,and began straight away to Hormone therapy.

And then on to the really hard part telling my immediate family I thought sure enough I would end up banished by the entire clan,but I couldn’t have been more wrong I found out they were willing to love me and even advocate for me what a true blessing. There is now the telling to the ones like uncles aunts cousins and more a large group in my family but it’s summer coming up and time for family reunions which I will be expected at. I have my  trepidation’s  to say the least as coming out to so many especially since I haven’t seen most of them in in over thirty years will be leaving me doing more explaining than eating at the reunion I’m sure. I have a plan however to soften the blows so to speak before just arriving on scene with no warning to anyone. I will enlist my family that knows to bring it up in conversation to any they  talk with between now and then I think that shall give me some idea what to expect and who to avoid at all cost.I did however promise myself when I embarked on this journey there would be no turning back so forward I go once more into the breech. I will advise later in the year as to the results.

This will be one of the last big hurtles I have to jump in my journey, I had hoped to get the surgery but it’s late in life for me and I know I’m a girl so no matter, I do however plan to get an orchy  later in the year mainly to get me off of some of the expensive drugs in my HRT.

Until we meet again …………………… Butterfly

Looking both ways

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Looking back and ahead at what I have accomplished since I decided to transition and leave behind the man I never was to be girl I always was sets me to thinking about how much was involved in the process.

It was filled with years of denial and experiences,that I wish now I had never had. But importantly it was journey I had to take in life to preserve what little sanity I had left,as I began it I was filled with almost every form of fear that could be dreamed up by anyone,and when I stepped off that cliff and began the process it didn’t take long for me to realize that in reality I had been preparing for this all my life, and so much of it just fell into place in a very natural way. As I moved forward in the earliest parts of my transition I found that the sheer relief of finally liberating myself from the person I wasn’t born to be brought such peace to me and that each was a happier one than the day before,certainly transitioning is not a cure-all for everything that was wrong in my life but it offered me the solace to begin dealing with all my considerable baggage that I had packed in the long trip through life,now those things just began to fall away as  the new me began to evolve and they didn’t hold me back anymore. I found early on that to build confidence in yourself meant you had to be and feel authentic,without this authenticity it just feels like you are living in the third person. While all my problems in life are not suddenly solved at least the problem of  my gender dysphoria is way better as this has permeated almost every aspect of my life the relief from it is most welcome. Finally being one whole person has much improved my outlook on life.

I have also learned that this is a transformative time for transgender people so it’s important to be out and let people interact with you because the world needs to know about us,we are not as big a piece of society as the gay,lesbian community,and still not a lot is known about us and what we are. So it’s important for us to gain our confidence and be ambassadors for our group in the world.

It’s important to listen to your inner voice and act on it ,I made every excuse in the world why I shouldn’t do this and why I didn’t deserve it ,but I do deserve happiness in life,you can’t be authentic and hide who you really are it just doesn’t work and never will.Be real and love yourself  it works, and life becomes easier as time goes on and know that  the world needs us.

 

385756_293575184080368_2014339406_aButterfly

 

About being born in November

“November”

 

by Thomas Hood

No sun–no moon!
No morn–no noon!
No dawn–no dusk–no proper time of day–
No sky–no earthly view–
No distance looking blue–

No road–no street–
No “t’other side the way”–
No end to any Row–
No indications where the Crescents go–

No top to any steeple–
No recognitions of familiar people–
No courtesies for showing ’em–
No knowing ’em!

No mail–no post–
No news from any foreign coast–
No park–no ring–no afternoon gentility–
No company–no nobility–

No warmth, no cheerfulness, no healthful ease,
No comfortable feel in any member–
No shade, no shine, no butterflies, no bees,
No fruits, no flowers, no leaves, no birds,
November!34874_137555692941847_2432477_n

Any one born in this gray and dreary month can surely relate to this Poem.