Some years ago when I started this process I guess it was a medium to try to explain my sometimes dramatic experiences in dealing with the difficult trials of letting the rest of the world know how difficult it is to succumb to the only life saving path I felt I could possibly use to salvage my existence here on earth, or choose to let the invisible powers that my religious teachings have held on me,and bring an end to my misery,by disavowing,and dissolving all ties with my known reality.
I guess in the end my will to survive,and believe in a better time,overcame some of the worst of all episodes it can produce .
It never ends there it’s not that easy,in fact it can continue to be more and more complicated as time passes.
An example is my son,while he expresses love to my face,I must remain invisible to those in his life,and not be his friend on social media,while I adore him on all levels of life I also feel a great deal of pain,in this circumstance.
Tables being reversed I would be 100% behind him and to hell with anyone who wouldn’t,support him……………………
I can’t know how he feels especially since he never expresses his true feelings,and possibly can’t because he is unable to know his feelings, in this very difficult,experience of life,I can only say it is a very uncomfortable place for me,I feel very unaccepted. at the most extreme layers of life.
He has also completely disengaged from my mothers side of the family,a family I embrace with all my heart and soul,they connect me to all that is good and to my GOD.
Love to all Butterfly