Falling Leaves and Family Love.

Well here we are deep in  the month of October out here on the prairie of the southern great lakes.WP_20151019_001 

The Gods paint their last picture as we near the winter  solstice, soon the tree’s will be bare as will all the fields that produced the plenty of another harvest in the life of this rare girl who continues to recollect the love of family and the security it brings to my reality.

On Yesterday I had the occasion to attend a remembrance service for my fathers wife of over 50 years.

 Mrs. Juanita {Bailiff] Iles

I will try in some short words to define how I thought of this grand lady,as I grew up in the home of my mother ,God Bless her she was always very bitter of my father and Juanita’s relationship and  I get a women scorned is not likely to forget the ones who wronged her. the circumstances were as I can collect not very pretty. I was very young at the time ,but the consequences did and do have an effect on my life. But this isn’t about me or my circumstances,it’s rather about my fathers wife and my extended experience of  motherhood.

This was a Lady of the finest degree,who came from very humble beginnings,on a poor farm in Western Indiana ,who grew up with a not so very great childhood ,and moved to my home town at the age of 16, I was not privy to any of this at the time of it’s happening as I was very young,she met my father and for reasons I may never know caused the eventual end to the marriage of my Mother and Father. Learning to love them in separate family circumstances was a bit confusing as I began to come of the age understanding, because I was beginning to understand by no means meant I had an adult understanding of  the situation,it only meant that I had to make decisions about my reality of the experience

Facts are facts I was as a teenager dealing with the hard reality of knowing  that something was very ascue in my own life.I had know Idea of how profound this was to my life back then as I only knew something was seriously not right with my mind and body.

Not sure if it really was the reason for being very rebellious ,or if it just came along with the lives of all teens,

I was about as confused in life as a butterfly that couldn’t escape my cocoon,at around that time in my life,my Mother and Stepfather confronted me about being adopted and losing the what I considered was my last and only ties to my birth father,who for all intents and purposes had been only a memory that came from brief encounters of visitation on  birthdays and whatever other times were suitable between the feuding parties.

All I can say is teen years are a collective fog that rarely lifts until you are in your late twenties,or later. which leads me to my first encounters,with my fathers wife, rebellion was my middle name around that time of life and rebell I did, I left my mother’s home to experience first hand my father’s life,truth is I was about the last thing my stepmother needed in her life about then and I was about the last thing I needed in my life too just then, that being said she welcomed me and my stupidity into her life without question,I saw almost immediately a woman that was as selfless as any I had ever met,in order to help raise the Children my father and she produced she gave very much of herself,taking on babysitting of other people’s children while they worked, to doing laundry and ironing for others, she never had a complaint,and always put my father and his children all of us first before herself, never a day you would ever go hungry around this lady no matter who you were .

She remains a lady of my highest regards and will live as a good memory to me,as she gave my father over 50 years of never ending  Love and Happiness To this I salute her a true soldier of life.

Along the way She and Father gave me a generous group of brothers and sisters ,they are all of great quality,with kind and generous hearts,on this occasion of the remembrance of their mother’s life is the first time any of them or their Mother’s family had ever met the lady I have become in recent history,not a single one treated me any different than ever ever and none failed to embrace me as the human being they grew up with.

I think for most girls(Ladies) of my age group and circumstance the fear of losing family and loved ones is our greatest source of anxiety in life,I have been so very fortunate to have the love of ALL my family still with me. I am truly Blessed,and grateful.

With a Happy Heart ,

I wish all Love and Happiness


What I am: Transsexualism Defined

This Is More Like What I Am

 What Transsexualism Is

Transsexualism is the most pronounced form of Gender Dysphoria. A typical medical definition of transsexualism would be along these lines:
A transsexual is someone who experiences a deep and long-lasting discomfort with their anatomical (genital) sex, and wishes to change their physical characteristics, including genitals, to the opposite of those usually associated with their anatomical sex, and to live permanently in the gender role opposite to that normally associated with their anatomical sex.
The medical definition is usually hedged around to exclude conditions such as hermaphroditism and various forms of psychosis which may lead to patients thinking they are transsexual without really being so. Some transsexuals also exhibit a degree of physical androgyny (which supports the view that transsexualism stems from an endocrine disorder, like hermaphroditism) but this is not part of the required conditions for diagnosis.
Transsexualism is still thought by many people to be a psychiatric condition, even though most transsexuals are perfectly sane and rational and recent research has shown that the condition has a physical basis — that the ‘female brain in a male body’ is a biological reality. Nevertheless, in most countries the person in overall charge of a gender reassignment (‘sex-change’) will be a consultant psychiatrist. The psychiatrist’s role is to ensure that the patient is sane, really is transsexual, and is mentally stable enough to make the necessary adaptation to the new gender role.
Most transsexuals dislike the typical medical description, as it still tends to suggest a psychiatric, rather than physical, origin for the condition, in spite of the criterion that one must be sane to be allowed gender reassignment. The present author would like to suggest an alternative, and personal, view of what it means to be transsexual:
I am a woman who, probably due to some endocrine malfunction before birth, was born with male genitals. Since our society assumes that gender and sex always correspond, I was wrongly assigned to the gender pigeon-hole called ‘male’ by a doctor who looked at my genitals instead of my mind. Throughout my childhood I knew perfectly well that I was really a girl (after all, it’s my mind, not my genitals, that make me the person that I am), but because my body seemed to insist otherwise, I was forced to try to fit in to the gender role of a boy. This produced intense unhappiness and almost totally ruined my life until I accepted the reality of my situation and underwent gender reassignment as an adult. I now live in the gender role called ‘female’ that matches my gender identity; the medical profession labels me as a ‘post-operative true primary male-to-female transsexual’, but I regard myself as a perfectly normal, well-adjusted and happy woman.
Bearing in mind the definitions of ‘sex’ and ‘gender’, some transsexuals are uncomfortable with the accepted medical term ‘gender reassignment’ to cover what is popularly known as ‘a sex change’. While many medics would adopt the reductionist viewpoint that sex is properly determined by chromosomes and not by genitals, and that there can therefore be no true change of sex, it is not really a change of gender either. It is a change of gender role , to bring it into conformity with the person’s gender identity , with hormonal and surgical reconstruction, as far as possible, of the body’s sexual characteristics.
Many specialists draw a distinction between primary and secondary transsexuals, although in reality there is probably a spectrum rather than a black-and-white division. Primary transsexuals exhibit cross-gender identity and severe gender dysphoria from an early age, and are unable ever to function satisfactorily in their natal sex role. Secondary transsexuals arrive at their cross-gender identification later in life, often after being fully functional in their natal sex role for some time, perhaps having even married and raised families. It seems likely that primary transsexuals are the true ‘female brain in male body’ case, with extensive feminisation of the brain, while secondary transsexuals represent a less severe version of the condition, with only partial feminisation of the brain. This view has been borne out by psychometric tests that aim to quantify ‘masculine’ and ‘feminine’ personality traits.
Transsexualism is a fairly rare condition. About one person per thousand is gender dysphoric to some extent, although true primary transsexuals are far fewer. Recent estimates would suggest that around one person per 25,000 is a true primary transsexual, with perhaps ten times that number of secondary transsexuals.
After reassignment most, but by no means all, transsexuals are heterosexual. Among the transsexual population, the usual spectrum of human sexuality can be found. Gender identity and sexual preference are not very strongly connected. Interestingly, it appears that primary transsexuals exhibit a similar incidence of sexual preferences to the natural-born female population, while secondary transsexuals demonstrate a much higher incidence of lesbianism or bisexuality.
There is also an increasing number of people who label themselves as ‘transgenderists’. They typically wish to live as members of the opposite sex, but without undergoing genital surgery. This could be regarded as a kind of mid-point between the Gender-Motivated transvestite and the transsexual. While this unquestionably another manifestation of Gender Dysphoria, it is debatable whether such people are transsexual in the true sense.