Guarded Acceptance

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I have spoken on other posts about being accepted by people but I’m still having problems with the level of acceptance I receive from my son  while he accepts me in private when others cannot find out it’s fine but in his words this is my reality and it shouldn’t affect him in his relationships with others.

It all makes my head want to explode,his stand on this prohibits us from having a “normal” relationship we can no longer go to a football game or basketball game together because we might be seen and questions may arise if someone who knows him or both of us would happen to see us.Noting that there may not be any such thing as a normal relationship with a transgender. I can no longer participate in holiday gatherings with them,because being who I am is far too controversial for these situations,essentially I’m just unable to be part of his life anymore.

While I understand he doesn’t wish to be taken out of his comfort zone for the likes of me I find it an untenable situation and don’t find this to be acceptance at all.

He doesn’t read these posts as he wishes to just keep thinking of me as I was in his youth,he won’t friend me on facebook as this too would move him from his comfort level,because people would ask questions,I do not live my life in hiding it is open to all who choose to face me he could easily just say please speak to her about this.

I can’t discuss with him the most intimate details of my life without him making an excuse to end the conversation,I have great things happening in my life now and can’t share them with him it’s most frustrating,he will likely be the last one to know I’m getting married and moving away to live with my husband.

I am at wits end with this whole thing,but will honor his wishes if he chooses not to participate in my life accept at arms length it is his choice,so I feel I will just move on without his blessing.

My happiness is at stake in this as well and he should realize I can’t give up my dreams and my life to make him comfortable always.

Rejected Butterfly

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One thought on “Guarded Acceptance

  1. It could be that moving away might change things in so much as if he were to come and visit he might feel more comfortable being seen out with you in your new environment, away from where people might recognise you both.

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