The Grand Experiment

d51008826ad37b01065d90247035c5b1 After having little or no luck finding that special someone to make a life connection with, at the urging of an old friend I reluctantly placed an ad on Craigslist.

What ensued was no real eye opener when you advertise that you are a trans-person seeking a relationship you can be assured that every male pervert in the country will contact you seeking you know what.

In the 2 months my add was up and by the way( it was specific to say I was seeking a long term relationship )I had no less than 200 replies about 90% were married men wanting a little something on the side because their wife wasn’t all that anymore or wasn’t affording them the sex they thought they needed, and they wanted to try something new. The other ten percent were just guys who wanted to hook up.

I had in my ad I ask for a picture and an explanation as to why they wished to be with a girl like me,of course as with most sites men do not read they see a picture and it’s enough to get them going and damn anything else you had there to say.

While the pictures I had in mind would give me an Idea of what the person looked like and in most cases you can look into someone’s eyes and tell a lot about them from jump street.What I got However was enough pictures of Penis’s to write a porn magazine.Of course none of these responses were even answered. mixed in were some who were stealthy enough to just hide the fact that they were married in hopes of meeting up and getting their chance.

One of these who I corresponded with finally after I scolded him for being unfaithful  began a dialog with me based on the fact that his daughter was FTM transsexual we ended up being friends and still correspond today. Turned out to be a very nice man after I got to know him.

I won’t repeat many of the replies as it’s just plain ugly what men feel they have the right to say to you because you are transsexual.

All the bad stuff aside when I finally thought I had enough abuse at my own hand,and made a decision to take down my ad I received a reply from a man who had indeed read my ad and sent me a wonderful description of why he thought we might fit together,we began a dialog and  like some power from the spirit world was guiding us became almost instantly connected.

As our relationship continues to grow it seems to keep reinforcing the fact that we were meant to find each other and that forces from somewhere else are guiding this,I have fallen deeply in love with this wonderful man and the more we are together the more I know that I have indeed found the person I was destined to spend the rest of life with.

We have begun to make wedding plans and I don’t know  when I have ever been this happy in my life.

So what seemed a disaster at first has turned out to be my biggest blessing in life.




7 thoughts on “The Grand Experiment

  1. Congrats Shelle! Just shows what all the naysayers have to show for their “that won’t work…so I won’t try it” attitudes…then of course it never does!

    You did ruin my smart ass comment though about Craig’s List…so bad even the Cleveland Browns fans are posting for a quarterback!

    Who knows, even they may be successful!

    Oh by the way, I’m sooooooooooooooo happy for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. What a lovely surprise to find on my return from a vacation where the internet was not accessible. I am truly delighted and thrilled at this news Shelle and wish you and the love of your life all the very best. You certainly deserve this break after all you have gone through and i could not be happier for you.

  3. Dear Butterfly, I love your blog. I’m the parent of a wonderful daughter MTF and you’re teaching me a lot. I was using the Internet to find romance back in the early 1990’s and I’ve seen it all. Mostly I have to say, IF this is truly a relationship, then congratulations! BUT you have to be very careful. Have you met this person face-to-face? Have you met his friends and family and has he met yours? Do your most trusted friends and/or family like him? Have you taken a trip together? Have you visited him, even if every so briefly, at his place of employment? All of these things need to come before wedding plans. There are some extremely talented con men out there who find vulnerable people, know exactly what to say (they research it on the Internet) and before you know it, you’re in danger or you’ve lost all your money. I beg of you, please be safe and take this step by step. It should take at least a year of face-to-face contact before you take that big step.

    • I wanted to thank you for your kind remarks and hope I will continue to inspire you and others in the future.
      I’m very happy also to hear that you are a proud parent,you are lucky to have her,although many would not agree we are really a gift to the world.
      As for your advice it seems you are spot on this person led me down a path that my feelings were ready and willing to accept but in the end I find that I am humiliated,and very depressed over the whole experience.I have been reluctant to admit my failure and post about this though I know I should pick my heart up off the ground and be strong,there will someday be a man who finds me good enough to be his until then I must be more diligent and not let my heart lead me down these destructive paths because I so badly long to be loved.
      Again I thank you for your concern and well placed advice


      • Dear lovely Butterfly, you’re brave to let us know that this is how it turned out. You are a gift to the world – let’s hope that some other person who is looking for love reads this and learns that there’s danger out there for people who are desperate to be loved. It happens with all sorts of people, too, although perhaps it seems more daunting if you are a member of a minority group. Let me assure you, though, you’ve got something a bit backwards.

        You said you’re looking for “a man who finds me good enough to be his.” Yep, that is totally backwards. My dear, you want to find the man who is good enough to be YOURS. Clearly the most recent one was not. In my first comment I outlined many of the steps that you must take before making wedding plans. Now I’ll suggest what you might do before even starting to form a relationship:

        – Write down all the wonderful things about yourself. What do you bring to others? What are your passions? What are you good at?
        – Write down the aspects of the ideal man for you: one column for what you absolutely must have, another column for what you would like but could maybe budge on, and another column for what absolutely must not be part of this man. I’ll give you some examples for me: Must be honest, healthy, generous with his time, kind to all sorts of people (especially to me!), musical, non-smoker, at least moderately good-looking, and smell good to me. Negotiable: lives within 10 miles of my house, loves to cook, doesn’t want a pet. Must not do: lies at all, is intolerant of people who are different from him, plays mind games, is at all controlling, is selfish (okay, this particular list could get long!)
        – Write down what you’ll say when you’re dating someone (dating means going out with them, physically in the same place, like having dinner together) and you realize they’ve just done something on the must-not-do list. My favorite, which I would email after the date: “I had a very nice time with you the other night but realized that we simply are not a good match. I wish you all the best. Please do not contact me again.” Of course you can use the same words when someone you’ve been emailing or messaging does a must-not-do.
        – Read all you can about having high standards and solid boundaries.
        – Develop your own self. Follow your passion, put time and energy into what you love. Hang with people who are interested in the same things. Once you are happy with yourself and have developed your own interests, someone who is like-minded will naturally be attracted to you. Just make sure he’s good enough. Most of them are not.

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