Once again another Sunday has rolled around another week in the book of my life another chance to look back and forward another chance to dream,and plan and reflect over the quagmire that has been my life for decades now.
I think my recent past I would say the past three years now have begun to bring me to a place where I can finally grow,and smile and give great thanks for.
It has been some of the most challenging of my life as well but the benefits have brought forth many miracles to my life.
During my sessions with my therapist we discussed the fact that revealing yourself to family and friends tends to be a very difficult challenge for gender variant people,Indeed it has been so for me,and is still ongoing fraught with pit falls and issues I can’t yet put into their perspective pigeon holes just yet.
While it has been frightening for me I think it has gone much easier than it does for many people,and for that I am most grateful.
In all of it I have found the greatest strength in my younger sister, Debra she has not only accepted and loved me she has gone out of her way to promote me and give me things I thought I would never know in life.
Us girls are not keen on revealing our age to people but I can tell you I have some years on me.I recently had a birthday and my sister sent me the most beautiful card I have ever received on any birthday of my life,it was covered with butterflies,and she knows how I love them.
But more than the look of the card the words she put inside touched me in a place I have never been touched in my whole life.
Inside she wrote these words “I’m so proud to be your sister! You are a beautiful and amazing woman! I love you so much! Deb and Don”
When I read these words tears began to flow from my eyes and for the first time in my life I realized that others have begun to see the woman I have fought so hard to be.
This is the best present I ever received on any birthday of my long life and one I will most treasure till I die.
So on this Sunday I am happier than on any I can ever remember in life.
Another very remarkable thing happened during this time that bears being glorified as a prize and a blessing to my life,I was somehow given the friendship of a very wonderful lady,who I now refer to as a sister too,her name is Carolyn, without her love and support I wouldn’t be on here sharing these posts with all of you she helped in great manner,by getting me set up here on this blog and has been most encouraging to me along the way. I can’t thank her enough for the help and support she gives me every day of my life,I hope she remains my friend always few people have ever invested in me like she has,what a truly wonderful gift I received in meeting her.
I think the hardest of all has been my relationship with my son, while he took the news about me well and says he supports me,he refuses too be a true part of Shelle’s life and feels most uncomfortable being around her.I think for now I will just back away from him and let him come to terms with this as he wants if he chooses not to be part of my new life then so be it,I knew from the beginning that not everyone would have the mental tools to deal rationally with this,while it saddens me that he is having such a hard time with it on the other hand it may create something wonderful in the end. I will keep the dialogue open and hope for the best,But I won’t let this diminish these gifts of happiness I have gained thus far.
I close now looking forward to Sundays,instead of crying through them.