When petty predjudice’s exist from within.

In a recent post I pointed out how MY life was effected in a different way than some of the other people in the Transgendered community,and made a statement as to MY desires in life.

And because I somehow have different aspirations than the rest of the I’m happy to keep my penis group I was promptly put in my place,like I had no right to have my own dreams in life and that I had no Idea of how to be a woman unless I could secure a vagina.

For the record I have lived my life as a woman in a very respectful way and I’m very pleased with the woman I am,and have the complete backing of my friends and family.

I have never sought to have my genitals match my thoughts so I could have a new TOY,I simply sought normalcy in my life,and a chance to forget the fact I was born in the wrong body.

These are the words of my therapist regarding my many sessions with him;

To whom it may concern:

Shelle participated in a mental health and substance abuse assessment.She has a diagnosis of Gender Identity Disorder as evidenced by wanting to be a woman since the age of five and associating with playmates of the opposite sex,dressing and living as a woman for years,feeling that she is female,and feeling that sexual reassignment surgery will improve the overall quality of her life. She does not meet the criteria for any other mental health diagnoses.

My dear friend however felt compelled to offer these comments about me;

I feel compelled to comment here Shelle, because I’m indeed one of the “sisters” who does not feel compelled to go through SRS at this time.
I’m sure you didn’t want your post to sound so negative towards us.
But…does a vagina alone signify a “real woman”? Perhaps you have lost track of the concept of gender between the ears and sex between the legs. Does a female become a “real woman” when she has sex with a man as you so crave?

One of the true tragic divides in our trans community is when TS’s go through SRS and then in their best impression of a male ego trip to try to hold it up to the rest of us like a new car they bought years ago. Hey look what I bought for 30 grand!!!! I guess you can’t call it “penis envy” right?
I mean really, how does anyone have the right to say how another thinks. Unless you have spent your life in a cave, haven’t we all met women who were more male than guys and vice versus.

And so it goes. It seems the rad fems and the rad TS’s want to line up with the religious right and desperately hang on to the archaic idea that a vagina alone (or a penis) defines a person. But then again I know most all TS’s don’t understand and even resent the fact that I have been able to lead an increasing fulfilling feminine life while they sit at home with their new toy.

Believe me I know and feel your pain but I do get a little upset when a person tries to define my gender because of my sex.

I’m not putting myself up on some pedestal…I’m so fortunate I have found a very great circle of friends who accept me unconditionally as a woman…none of whom are male or even trans. Let me repeat I’m snubbed by every TS I’ve contacted because I dare to live my life the way I do. I do meet guys on occasion but like many other genetic women, finding the basics of intelligence, sense of humor, interests in a single man is rare..let alone the absence of the big “V”. It’s their loss not mine.

Like I said, I don’t really think you meant to sound like you did. Believe me, I have thought out the whole SRS process and if I wasn’t my age and I did have an extra 30 grand hanging around would I do it? Since I’m having the time of my life now…kind of doubt it…

In the meantime, just keep finding ways to explore your femininity in your mind…not your sex organ.

While there are good points in some of what she says I don’t think I need to be lectured about how to live my life. When these type of predjudice’s exist within our own community how can we ever hope to get the rest of the world to believe  what we say.

I made no disparaging comments to how others live their lives,and I owe no one an explanation as to why I am who I am.

I don’t by the way have the resources to make my life dreams come true,so I live my life much the same as the rest of you and I’m just as much a woman  as any other woman.


And for the record I still love and respect my dear friend Crysti.



One thought on “When petty predjudice’s exist from within.

  1. Shelle, I read that post and I remember that more than once you stated that “not everyone who is trans feels the way I do” you were stating your own feelings. Like all human beings in the world no matter what their sexual orientation you have your own unique perspective and experience. In your case, your journey through transexuality and your transition is also your own and unique and no one has the right to tell you that your feelings are wrong or that you are not transitioning correctly. Everyone has to find their own way through life and the point of blogging is the hope that if you share your own experience maybe someone out there will find something in your words that will help them in some way or at least make them think. It is only through honest communication that you through your writing on your blog can help put an end to the the ignorance and hate toward transgendered people. Keep on writing just the way you are and don’t let anyone tell you that you are wrong……….I have learned so much from you, thank you for that and for your writing. Keep up the good work! And look at it this way, if someone commented on your post, you are doing it right, you incited someone enough that they wanted to begin a conversation whether positive or negative, reaction is what you look for when writing so in that way you certainly did do it right 🙂

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