While many people make claim to being Transgendered,or gender dysphoric,it effects all of us in it’s own way some are perfectly happy to consider themselves so and yet not have the desire to change their genitals to match the gender they feel they are,and yet for others who fit the original classic definition that has a complete disdain for the genitalia they were born with,it is a day to day torture that the aforementioned trans people don’t live with daily.
As for me I live with that classic definition and as hard as I try to convince my self that I am the girl I say I am it is always on my mind,that I just hate the male parts of my body and I want them gone,it effects so much of my desire as a human being in a very dreadful way that I just can’t get it out of my thoughts. I can’t easily pursue the type of relationship I want in life because my body doesn’t match who I am.
For some it is okay because they are happy to be in a relationship with a wife or other female.
For me it is a disaster,because I am a woman who wants a normal man woman relationship and my wrong parts make it impossible.
I am so distraught about it sometimes it seems like life is no less of a fight than it has ever been for me no matter who knows about my life as Transgender and accepts me for it I still am not ever going to be free from this burden.I know that for those of you who don’t really have the desire to be fully transformed it must just seem a very small thing but for girls like me it is so huge we are willing to go through pure hell even risk death to become truly transformed physically into who we know we are,and while some you can just go on and live without it perhaps you don’t really share the burdens of your sisters in all this, maybe you just can’t see that tear that stays in the corner of my eye because I don’t have the resources or the means to ever be whole in my mind or live a normal life, I can’t find a normal man get married or ever live a life where I can forget who I really am and that is a pain most people would choose to live without I’m sure.
But the form of transgenderism I live with makes me want to risk even this to be whole in life and just be a real girl.