Before I continue with Dr. Jeckyl and Miss Hiding,I wish to offer some thoughts about the upcoming Holiday season.
First this will again be another for years in a row that I will face with no one by my side,the holidays are depressing enough even when you do have someone by your side.
Here is the scenario I see for my upcoming holiday season,I will be offered a choice to spend it with my sisters and brother,and their totally accepting family,as Shelle and I will be offered to have some quicky meal with my son and his homophobic wife’s family as someone I am not anymore,and I don’t know if It will be before or after his mother who won’t even sit down at the same table with me.
I feel I must choose my family over my son and daughter in law which really just sucks I’m sure they won’t even come by my sisters because they are unable to look upon me as my true self they think as long as they never have to see it they can just hold me down as who I have always been to them,they won’t even look at my facebook or my blog because then they would have to deal with the reality that I’m not that person anymore.
I hate being told I accept you for who you are as long as I never have to deal with it this is not acceptance by any measure of life,at least when you go swimming for the first time in early summer you stick your foot in to see what the water feels like,if you never have to stick your foot in will you ever go swimming?
And people who are considered “normal” kill themselves over the holidays,why should I have to live with this level of stress because of people who will not look through the looking glass?
Just another thing we as transgendered people have to face that others don’t ever have to deal with.
As I sat down and backed away from this post I felt an urgent need to add a few other facts that are on my mind,I have some very good friends well-intentioned as they may be,they continually tell me you must give them time to get used to who you are you have known all your life they just found out,well this is not some long list of facts given to unintelligent people,I am smart enough to be given five or ten facts about something and come up with a rational approach to the subject,If you are suggesting to me that I promote ignorance you are very wrong in your approach If your president or senator couldn’t look at the facts about something and make a decision before others lives were effected would you feel safe in having them in the first place? My Son and Daughter in law are both very intelligent people,saying to me I just want it to stay like it always was is not rational or accepting in my book.
Is there some reason why all the rest of my family can embrace me and love who I am,And they can’t?