All too briefly we had our little friend Jennipher in our lives,she died tragically by her own hand on August 10th 2012.
Her last post on the Experience Project that night indicated that she was about to take her life I made every attempt I could to stop her and get her emergency help but I was too late to save the precious life of this very young transgendered lady. all too many times we lose our battle as transgendered people because of severe depression.
She succumbed to just that,She had made many friends when she came aboard EP and we all tried very hard to build her up as we all saw the sadness in her life growing at what seemed an exponential rate.
Sadly it seems that none of us could stop the pain that consumed her life She was a kind and giving young lady who many of us adored,It is so tragic to lose the fight this way my heart goes out to her family and friends,I know full well the feelings that go along with this type of loss as I lost my wife in 2009 to suicide.
I’m going to include a very nice comment I received from one of Jen’s very close friends it says so much about her and really touched my heart when I read it.
bahli Aug 12, 2012 5:43 PM
Jenn was high strung and very influenced by what others had to say about her. She had a very low self esteem and felt she was not good enough to be even as much as complimented. When she was given a compliment she said it made her feel bad and she just knew it wasn’t true and wished people would not do that. She was on the verge of coming out as the female self she knew she was. She even said she had kicked down the closet door but was still standing in the closet. She always looked at herself as ugly though going by the self portrait she drew she was beautiful. She used the computer to put color into two copies of her drawing. One was all in reds, oranges and yellows and she said it was a picture of her fiery self. The other was in purples and lavenders and blues and signified her softer and gentler side. I know this because we discussed the pictures and their colors as we chatted one day.
She lived on a beautiful piece of land in Florida. It had a beautiful tranquil pond on the right side of the property and we talked about my coming down one day and going fishing there. It had a winding gravel road that lead up t a nice home. The property was dotted about with some beautiful old trees. To me it seemed an absolute perfect place to live. Some neighbor of hers was dissatisfied with what the land looked like and called in some sort of code enforcement guy that really affected Jenn. She, however, went to work and what ever the “code violations” were Jenn fixed them up and was very proud. The code guy showed up a day late and gave the place a good going over and found no discrepancies. Jenn was very happy and so pleased she included a picture of it on her page.
She was all the time having to go to work and when I did get to chat with her it was for short periods only but I learned a lot about her in the time we had together. I was constantly trying to improve her image of herself. Over and over I would try and I thought I was finally getting some where, but apparently not.
She was constantly giving of herself to the people around her. She was a certified auto mechanic and could have worked at any auto repair shop she chose to. She was constantly doing free repair work for her few friends that seemed to own clunkers and he would keep them running for them. I remember she was always complaining about her dirty greasy hands. What would you expect from an ace mechanic, but it bothered her big time and only contributed to her low self esteem. We chatted one day about her getting a job. She knew she wouldn’t be accepted at her work place as a woman and was going to get some education in the computer field and then go looking for a job in that field as a woman.
She sent me a pair of red heels on EP and as a beginner it takes a long time to accumulate enough points to send a gift like that. She told me to take care of them as they cost a lot. By EP standards they did. I kept those precious shoes till EP somehow took them away from me. They just disappeared the day they took Jenn off of EP.
She was, in my opinion, the kind of person I only wish I could have been. Such a giving and loving person. I will deeply miss her. I had no idea I could become so deeply in love with a person like Jenn over the web. This is day three and I am still crying for the loss of her. Such a tragic loss of such a good person so unnecessarily Is hard for me to comprehend and accept. I just hope we can do her justice in what we have to say about her, My Very Good and Loving Friend. I LOVE YOU JENNIPHER
I think all of us were saddened by the loss of this soul that now lives with the Angels and God.
We all give you our love Jen and will carry you in our hearts please rest in peace now and struggle no more.
I hope some day that these kinds of loss will end in our community and that there will be adequate help to prevent these tragic losses of life.
Save us Oh LORD from this………………….Shelle